It's all very well trying to be funny all the time. Even for the number of times I so efficenty turn a good one liner into a bad sentence, it's quite comforting.
You see I've always rather enjoyed a challenge. Location. Physical, Spiritual or Mind. Whatever. Its really never been much of a problem.
I've known all my life about the disconcerting distractions of my mind that make me crazier than a coconut. Just never seemed like that should stand in the way of a good time. Without doubt the out there factor has contributed to the success of many mission. And enough failures to know the difference. Sometimes. Depending on the phase of the moon.
And then there's lately. You could spend a lot of time on the word to describe the feeling within that results from the broad medical term depression. Anxiety, stress, apprehension, unease or just the good old heebie jeebies. A multitude of monikers.
The complete bummer is, in my case anyway, the bottom line relationship with the outside world boils down to one word. Scared. And that is extraordinarily confronting.
If it was just apathy I would have no trouble accepting it. I'm inherently a lazy bastard anyway.
Posessing a desire however to still engage with the big bad world and finding yourself fearful of it is just not cricket.
The life I have lived so far suggests to me this hasn't always been the case. All evidence to the contrary.
The future is a place where I hope the juggernaut of lifes journey has as many,if not more, of the eccletic,exciting and spectacular destinations of the past. All the way up until I can have just one word on a headstone. Done.
The present presents a few obstacles to keeping an increase on the law of averages though.
It isn't a state of mind inhibitve completely to continuing to have a go. Not totally anyway. But by hell it's there. Just scared.
That's where the writing has become really handy. It is a touch with mind in the times your unable to use that intelligence for the bold audacity of bigger plans.
There's a great deal of restriction in using only words to communicate thought or intention. And a great many more in then trying to write it down. That in itself is a challenge and adventure well worth accomplishing.
The other side of that ace of diamonds is talks cheap and whiskey cost money. All the words in the world will not compensate for the experience you haven't experienced.
It is rather an amazing fact that as restrictive as words are though. As little of the true intent of the thought or feeling words are able to express. They can often be used to convict of crimes seemingly worse than murder.
Sometimes it is and I stand in that dock guilty as charged.
Much like the idea that there has been a song written about pretty much everything is no reason not to write more. The restrictions are no reason not to get back up, dust yourself of and have another go at the words.
Cause good, bad or indifferent the words are often all we are left with.
Personally I have a paralyzing fear of heights. It just made the blood pump harder climbing things.
So fortunately for me I've always had a mindset of tackle that which scares you. It leads to the biggest rush.
So even now in difficult times, seemingly immersed in fear, I'm very much hoping that kind of history will be the endemic catalyst to to my own return to outlandish form. An ever increasing mean to my own law of averges.
And then write about it. With a splash of picking on the failings of democracy. Which apart from all the other kinds is the very worst kind of governance.
Kingy @ The Kingy Report.
Coming up.....why the world is so fucked up the royal wedding seems remotely important. When it really just isn't!!!!!!!!!!!
Not at all the news..........who cares!!!
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