By the end of the weekend that was the royal wedding media blitz, the only item to survive the killing of bin Laden in relation to the nuptials was collectively how fantastic we think Pippa Middeltons ass is.
And a fine ass it is.
Fresh from her positively gushing royal encounter however, our piss poor excuse for a PM practically bowled Laurie Oakes over at the buffet table to stand "shoulder to shoulder" with the republic we love most.
No wonder the poor refugees on detention centre roofs across the nation seem confused on the direction of Australian nationality.
Unfortunately the Australians for a Constitutional Monarchy (ACM) had their media honeymoon (pun totally intended) cut short.
This really was what they were hoping would be the time for their message of allegiance to the House of Windsor for Institutional Inbreeding to shine.
If you think that remark is rude take a look at the many ACM endorsed succesional charts in the papers.
If this family were cows they would have to be destroyed to avert an international agricultural crisis.
Then the twittersphere meltdown of the USA's "triumph" drowned everything out.
I got bored with the Arab skeet shoot pretty quickly.
I think it might take some time to sort the shit from chocolate in the truth of that day at the ballpark.
So me and my buddy Google went looking for information.
Just for chuckles look up newspoll.
Then click on the opinion poll link.
Then click the republic link.
I don't want to put the numbers in this piece for two reasons.
Firstly it would spoil your fun.
Secondly, myself not being a member of the ALP caucus, I'm fully prepared to use other factors, like truth, in my decision making process.
I will say that there is a very English word that springs to mind for the triumphs the ACM crowed into any willing ear that Willy & Katies wedding was the death knell for an Ausralian Republic. Bollocks.
So let me recap on how this action packed weekend went.
A very arrogant lady who got her job on the basis of 847 poll respondents went to the house of a god she doesn't believe in.
Same said lady, an alleged republic supporter, got giddy as all get up about going to London to meet the Queen.
Then she raced home to say how delighted that our favourite republic had executed enemy number one with no need for judicial process.
Who the fuck needs judicial process anyway when you got SEAL Team Six.
The guy that got shot attacked our favourite republic because he was pissed that said favourite republic trampled all over the sovereignty of his country in guise of civility promotion while everyone knew it was always about the oil.
Before the outrage freaks go off and fuck up my inbox again, please note:
I don't condone bin Ladens actions, but the post 9/11 death toll is now at around half a million.
When will enough be enough???
I'm as confused as Michael Clarke at an engagement party.
It seems that only opinion enjoying universal support from the weekend is that Pippa Middleton does indeed have a very fine ass.
At least if Australia were a republic then we could hold our head high amongst the inconsistent hypocrisies without being anybody's bitch.
God bless the Australian Republic Movement.
And most certainly god bless Pippas ass.
Kingy @ The Kingy Report
