Pay up you pricks

They shall grow not old
As those of us who are left grow old
Age shall not weary them
Nor the years condem

With the going down of the sun
And in the morning
We shall remember them

Lest we forget

We have just commemorated ANZAC Day 2011.

Ninety six years after the battle that marked our collective national conciouness forever.

Its an odd day.

Commemorative services are just brimming with the spoken lament of this countries unpayable debt to the brave and courageous whom have born the scars that gave us our very freedom.

Yet while at this time of year the politicians do like to wax lyrical about the unpayable debt.

The debt they will never forget.

The fuckwits for the most part spend the rest of the year avoiding payment of any kind.

Debt or no debt.

Ask a sailor who happened to be on board HMAS Voyager the night it was cut in half by HMAS Melbourne.

Ask a digger from the fifties who spent some quality time in the sun at Maralinga while the Brits worked out nuclear bombs.

Ask the survivors from 6RAR Delta company who fought of a battalion of enemy in the rain at a rubber plantation called Long Tan.

Check with the dwindling peace time suvivors of the toxic F-111 re-seal de-seal program.

You see if you chatted with folk from the abovementioned groups you would get a common answer with respect to the government.

Firstly you would hear how successive goverments don't give a fuck.

Secondly you would be astounded at the ammount of government resources dedicated to proving these vetrans problems are not theirs.

All wars suck.

Usually the bastion of incapable statesman trying to impress a chick.

That doesn't mean that the men and women who carry out the wishes of amoral goverments do so with anything less than total dedication and honour.

The history of our treatment of vetrans contains far more volumes on how not to pay than it does on how to help.

Good a time to point out as any that Bobby Menzies, war time leader extraordinaire and Maralinga authouriser was a pussy who wouldn't serve in WW1.

So next time your kicking about a memorial service with a mouthy member of the peoples house at the microphone.

Please ask him/her/it why the government dislikes vetrans so much in spite of the stirring oratory!!!!!!

Kingy @The Kingy Report

Fear and loathing on a smart phone........

It's all very well trying to be funny all the time. Even for the number of times I so efficenty turn a good one liner into a bad sentence, it's quite comforting.

You see I've always rather enjoyed a challenge. Location. Physical, Spiritual or Mind. Whatever. Its really never been much of a problem.

I've known all my life about the disconcerting distractions of my mind that make me crazier than a coconut. Just never seemed like that should stand in the way of a good time. Without doubt the out there factor has contributed to the success of many mission. And enough failures to know the difference. Sometimes. Depending on the phase of the moon.

And then there's lately. You could spend a lot of time on the word to describe the feeling within that results from the broad medical term depression. Anxiety, stress, apprehension, unease or just the good old heebie jeebies. A multitude of monikers.

The complete bummer is, in my case anyway, the bottom line relationship with the outside world boils down to one word. Scared. And that is extraordinarily confronting.

If it was just apathy I would have no trouble accepting it. I'm inherently a lazy bastard anyway.

Posessing a desire however to still engage with the big bad world and finding yourself fearful of it is just not cricket.

The life I have lived so far suggests to me this hasn't always been the case. All evidence to the contrary.

The future is a place where I hope the juggernaut of lifes journey has as many,if not more, of the eccletic,exciting and spectacular destinations of the past. All the way up until I can have just one word on a headstone. Done.

The present presents a few obstacles to keeping an increase on the law of averages though.

It isn't a state of mind inhibitve completely to continuing to have a go. Not totally anyway. But by hell it's there. Just scared.

That's where the writing has become really handy. It is a touch with mind in the times your unable to use that intelligence for the bold audacity of bigger plans.

There's a great deal of restriction in using only words to communicate thought or intention. And a great many more in then trying to write it down. That in itself is a challenge and adventure well worth accomplishing.

The other side of that ace of diamonds is talks cheap and whiskey cost money. All the words in the world will not compensate for the experience you haven't experienced.

It is rather an amazing fact that as restrictive as words are though. As little of the true intent of the thought or feeling words are able to express. They can often be used to convict of  crimes seemingly worse than murder.

Sometimes it is and I stand in that dock guilty as charged.

Much like the idea that there has been a song written about pretty much everything is no reason not to write more. The restrictions are no reason not to get back up, dust yourself of and have another go at the words.

Cause good, bad or indifferent the words are often all we are left with.

Personally I have a paralyzing fear of heights. It just made the blood pump harder climbing things.

So fortunately for me I've always had a mindset of tackle that which scares you. It leads to the biggest rush.

So even now in difficult times, seemingly immersed in fear, I'm very much hoping that kind of history will be the endemic catalyst to to my own return to outlandish form. An ever increasing mean to my own law of averges.

And then write about it. With a splash of picking on the failings of democracy. Which apart from all the other kinds is the very worst kind of governance.

Kingy @ The Kingy Report.

Coming up.....why the world is so fucked up the royal wedding seems remotely important. When it really just isn't!!!!!!!!!!!

Not at all the news..........who cares!!!

Catholic Church uses Facebook to take its main cause mainstream. Yep. . the guilt trip

The Guilt Trip Goes Viral

Facebook has potential.......

Its the copy and paste thing that really screws it up.........

Any number of causes are flung across the digital divide........

And that's fine.........

Everything from repost this if you have sexual fantasies about snauzers up to the heights of things like cure barbie from anorexia.............................

All right its not fine. Its stupid and more than a little moronic............

But seriously whatever floats your boat...............

However sports fans and Parramatta supporters have you noticed the guilt tags creeping into the game......

I know 90% of you won't post this.....

If you don't post this you don't love your country.............

I know the ones that will post this, and the rest of you probably attend al-queada meetings...........

That sort of thing!!!!!!!

And again on the causes near and dear, whatever spokes your wheel....

But if you take a close look you will be noticing that these things appear under lots of different names........

I mean your not going to convince me that everyone suddenly decided to give a toss about abortion rights for sea turtles in the space of an hour.....

The statement appearing in the comments box on facebook says "Whats on your mind......."

That's not a call to arms for the plagarist army is it??????

A little bit more honesty surley couldn't hurt could it??????

Personally I'm thinking if you are overpowered by the urge to post on facebook and really don't have anything on your mind then write "three fifths of fuck all" or "thinking about scratching my nuts"

This would portray a whole lot more honesty.......

And give out a few more much needed laughs......

So please oh please have a think about this the next time your about to repost whatever unoriginal dribble that you will be passing of as your own ideals...........

We have question time in parliment to watch syncopants repeating themselves.....

Be you........

And if your one of the 37.5% of the country that watches commercial current affairs shows and don't actually posess original thought of any recogniseable kind...........

Then think better than to call folk bad people,bad family,bad friends or completely amoral assholes if they don't repost aforementioned unoriginal dribble...........

If the guilt trip in your life is so needed I believe the Catholic Church is still trading!!!!!!!!

Kingy @ The Kingy Report

Not just news.....it is the news

If you have been following The Kingy Report and belong to a demographic that I haven't got around to offending yet, then drop me a line and Ill get right on to it!!!!!!!!!!

Screwed for Money

Surley there must be a legal case for not paying taxes.........

I mean if the government were hookers would you pay again for such an unfulfilling service?????

And before the rude emails start flying again I would never cast dispersions on the prostitution industry by comparing them to the government..............

Just saying you wouldn't keep paying that's all..........

However given that here in the great southern land we are amongst the highest taxed in the world..........

And given what a complete stuff up things are..........

You really wouldn't mind if everytime you paid tax it felt as nice as what happens after you pay a hooker...........

If you've never tried a hooker by the way.....well thats just sad. Very UnAustralian. This country was founded on the great ideal of being screwed for money!!!!!!!!!!

And while the fans get all fired up by my love of hookers let me ask you this..........

Anyone guilty of prostituting their ideals and morals for a quick buck????

I just don't feel we are getting value for money out of our taxes.........

The public service sector should be sued for misrepresentation under the trade description act...........

I mean have you ever seen the department of workplace relations at a family reunion????????

Does the fire department ever come light your BBQ?????????

And if the department of community services was fair dinkum they would be behind the bar at the footy!!!!!

Not to mention the department of women being more supportive of the wonderful work of hookers!!!!!!!!

So government should really be about the people.....and it just isn't!!!!

Kingy @ The Kingy Report
Not just news.....it is the news

Coming up.....the tragic events that lead to my complete disrespect of the conventions of punctuation!!!!!!!

No idea to New idea

At the moment......

There are three US led wars we are participating in........

Japan is turning into a microwave set on high.........

Our skies are filled with commercial airliners flown by pilots who are paid less than bus drivers..........

Continental Africa is ravaged by muderous dictatorships and famine. Both killing thousands every day......

The minority government of Australia is doing any deal, no matter the cost or outcome, just to stay in power.......

The consequential genocide of indigenous Australians continues unchecked as social policy.........

White collar coruptionists who may be inconveniantly embarrasing are thrown in jail for ten plus years while pedophiles get six months........

Thousands of Australians are being screwed sensless by insurance companies in the wake of natural disaster....................

Smokers are being pshycolgicslly messed around by a government thats too adicted to the revenue to ban the stuff...........

And our Navy lacks the ability to float!!!!!!

And todays top story is.................

What the children of a Danish playboy and a Tasmanian pub moll are called.

Don't be alarmed....everything is perfectly normal in the land of the Women's Weekly world.

You don't give a tinkers cuss and everybody knows it.

Well fracking done!!!!!!!!!

You have just had your insight slandered by..........

Kingy @ The Kingy Report

Get fucked.....strong letter following

Not just the news....it is the news!!!!

Racism.....logic style

I'm pretty dumb and this is just a rant.

So lets give it a burl eh.

A case for logic.............

If thirty minutes..........

Less 10 minutes for ads and other bullshit........

If 20 minutes of watching Tracey Grimshaw presenting a fully endorsed infomercial telling us Coles and Woolworths are in charge...........

If that seems like a long time!!!

This all blow your freaking mind!!!!!

Get your head around the concept of 50'000 years.

Why would I bother you may ask???

Well to make a point of course!!!!!

You see 50'000 years is the least amount of time that this continent has been inhabited.

In the popular course of history diatribe you will still find the pre white settlment people of this land segragated by description in many a colorful term.........

Savages.......

Uncivillised.........

Certainly not up to the genius of say...........

digging huge holes in the ground so we could set fire to the shit thinking it was a great because it grew the economy!!!!!!!

And while both the irony and hypocrisy of what I'm about to rant are not lost on me...

Lets chat about that word. Civilised.

Apparently it means.....to bring out of a savage, uneducated or rude
state.

Technological advancement. How can you live in a world so advanced...

That perception of its future is still considered first and foremost with regards to the ledger............

That's just so brilliant.................

I do hope the next few generations become Beatles fans.....

I got a feeling in the future Can't Buy Me Love will take on a new meaning..

Back to the numbers..........

50'000 years. The amount of time we know the continent Terra Australis was inhabited by human beings........

49777 years pre civilisation and 223 years post......

And we are all going to have to take a broad view on the meaning of civilisation...............

You see its the whole technological advancement thing............

If you take a quick look back through the history of technological advancement you will notice something very bizzare................

What do you think was constantly at the forefront of technological discovery?????

Medicine?????

Transport????

From as far back to the times when the first think tank was held in a brothel.......

From as far back to when man emereged from a cave......met his neighbour and picked up a rock and threw it at him..........

The thought first on the mind of man in terms of technological advancement..............

Was the ability to kill other men........

From the Spear to the Arrow.........

The Catupult to the Cannon.......

From the Rifle to the Remote Launch Laser Guided weapons of today.......

Even the other marvels of technological advancement. Medicine. Flight. Transport..........

All of these enjoyed such rapid advancement into mainstream life after their application to military use had proven sucessful....

And given that the civilisation argument is based on extracting from the savage, uneducated or rude state.................

And given the destruction of our fellow man has led the way for development then..............

I'm going to jump right to the conclusion and call that the case for civilisation!!!!!!!

Lets talk about what was going on with the locals while that was going down............

The folk who evolved here over the 49777 years before we turned up.......

The people who peacefully organised themselves  into 250 different nations.......

Anywhere from 4-5 clans in smaller nations, up to 40-50 in the larger ones...........

Given that the First Australians operated over 200 times our occupation on this continent............

And given the mess our 223 year occupation has created does anyone think we can go around twice the way we are going.................

Given all those numbers......

You would nearly have to........

By the standard of any modern philosophy call what the First Australians had going on was indeed a civilisation...............

All that time......living peacfully........in a society with both justice and education.........

living with complete respect to the land they lived in...

With 250 different languages........

While we all have a snort and snicker about that, chuck the fact into the mix that we couldn't agree on a common rail guage!!!!!!

Just saying!!!!!!!!!

And you would have to........

I mean the numbers add up.

What was called exsistence in the 49777 years the First Australians were in charge........

By any modern or historical comparison.......

A pretty sucessful civilisation........

I make this point because we may seriously need the help of the most sucessful inhabitants of this land when it becomes really obvious money can't buy me love honey!!!!!

Kingy @ The Kingy Report

Up next.......well your guess is as good as mine.
Not just the news....it is the news!!!!

....you complete bastards

It really hadn't been my idea to break into an ongoing football commentary.

This is right now. And predicting what I'm going to care about next is,as yet, an undefined science.

So as long as we are going to talk about shit. Lets discuss the body of command of the biggest impediment to football being fun. The NRL.

I think there is every chance I am about to summon levels of judgement and exspress same in colloquialisms that may make the hard core Catholics blush.

Tune out now if you haven't had your fish fingers yet.

The distance to here, not only chronologicaly, but in how different the game is just makes me want to puke.

The players on the field that's fine. Footy is nearly Footy except......

The grand final is at night....well sort of night.....the NRL are even confused as to when night and day occur...

It will probably soon be announced soon that in an effort to gain greater coverage in the mardi gras we will have the Twilight Grand Final. Cheap word play.......shit sorry bout that......as you know not really my style.

Anyhow, video refs, pointless scrums cause you feed to the hooker now. Video Refs, Paul Vautin, Matty Johns loosing it all for having the balls to admit what he did.......

Many things......&*&£@#$NRL

Allow me the indulgence of focusing on just two.

Don't ask me to explain from which pit of personal depravity I summoned empathy for the following groups of fans. I generally find both crowds repugnant to the core....................on principle, socially and hygienically.........

However....without doubt on both recent occasions when the nazis down at Phillip St decided to adjust history and the current competition with its punishments for corporate activity........

You attacked the very core of the only thing that matters for a leauge club......the Fans.

The Bulldogs and Storm fans were so wronged.

And for just doing the only thing you want them to do........

Show allegiance to the club.

The rest of the relationship, past step one, is basic make their money your money stuff.

The sections of football history that have been erased because the NRL is only good for exerting authourity in hindsight and secret investigations. Its just wrong.

You would have thought that the corporate giant. One who owes its exsistence to one demographic. Rugby League fans.

One which survives on the spirit of the Greatest Game of All.

You would have thought such a body would have had some loyalty..............look-uuhl-tee. To be loyal.

Anyhow...had some loyalty to the club and alerted them when their breach was first noticed.

Whichever way.....as the corporate body of the game you are just that.

You are not the game.

The game is played by clubs.

The clubs are made by fans.

Impose all the CORPORATE sanctions you like.

However. Never touch that which is not yours...........

The GAME belongs to the Fans.

Mr Gallop would you kindly fuck off from todays press conference and find something useful to do.....

If its just the TV you love.....I'm pretty certain you and Phil Gould in a box together would rate well....

The GAME belongs to the Fans.

.......coming up. Why I still find 12 inches of black grooves vinyl so darn groovy.

Kingy
The Kingy Report